Why?
The majority of the characters in horror films are stupid.
No offence to anyone out there but its true.
Lesson #1: Watch where your going.
Most of the times while your running away from the killer, at least watch where your going.
1.Cause you often seem to trip over something which causes you to fall, and HURTING yourself,
twisting your ankle which allows the killer to catch up to you.
2. I'm sure there's a possible solution that your gonna run straight back to the killer.
YOU GET THE POINT!....nope....okay moving on...
Lesson #2: Taking 'shortcuts'
So, you're driving out in the middle of nowhere for a weekend with a couple of friends or whatever the reason. Choosing to stop at the nearest gas station, you buy some gas and suddenly you approach or be approached by a begrimed looking character. He then offers you direction's for a shortcut route, whether its on the map or NAW.
This 'shortcut' gets you completely lost and furthermore you and your group end up getting ambushed by murderous animals. Predictable.
Lesson #3: Go through the door
You KNOW that the axe-wielding maniac ALWAYS lurks behind the door. But you're still going to go through it, aren't you. Not a smart move. It'll be the last thing you'll ever do.
Lesson #4: Investigating creepy noises
A rustle in the bushes, tapping noise in the window or even a mysterious sound coming from upstairs.
When you go investigating strange noises, it is literally handing yourself over to the killer. Which kind of misses the whole 'survival' point. Whichever way you see it, its probably wise to run away rather than stick around and play 'detective'
Lesson #5: 'We're safe now'
Uh-oh. Famous last #words if I ever heard them say. Here comes Freddy Fazbear (from five nights at freddy's) to prove you wrong. Chop Chop. Nice knowing ya.
Lesson #6: Threatening Calls
Your home alone having a quiet night in- because everyone else has gone out or whatever.
Unusually, you start receiving unexpected threatening calls from a stalker. Given the fact that your absolutely alone and it's really late, instead of freaking out, cutting the phone off and calling the cops like any normal person would do, you decide to keep the conversation rolling. Which gives the stalker the perfect chance to get into the house. And when you do start showing signs of concern its all over... as the killer's right behind you... BOO!
Lesson #7: 'If we can make it to the store/my cousin Joe's house/ the mall, we'll be safe'
You still haven't got it.
THERE IS NO SAFETY IN A HORROR MOVIE!
Someone always makes a fatal mistake and the zombies/virus/axe-wielding maniac gets in.
Have fun trying though.
Lesson #8: Running in a straight line when fleeing for your life
This is exactly what killers expect you twit.
Try zigzagging like moi, because movie killers depend on their victims exhibiting predictable behavior.
Be mean and confuse em for once.
Lesson #9: 'I know what to do'
I've watched the movies.
Oh, don't come over all post-modern ironic on us. Nobody likes a smartass.
You're dead. R.I.P.
And Lesson #10: The Killing of the Killer
Oh my gosh!
When your going to kill the killer or if you have, at least make sure he's dead first. For real.
Try stabbing him up all over his body 16x or shooting him bullet after bullet.
No one ever does that so there's a possible chance that he's still gonna be alive and get you back in the end or something.
So there ya go.
Me little- too many rants bout horror films.
Please make sure 2 comment and say which ya can relate 2 an which I've missed.
I'd really luv some feedback.
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I'm Thmyka and our Goodbye Motto is: Kids will do anything for a Gummy Bear. Bye! :)
